


Friendzone

by thecarrotofshuutoku (merthur_at_221b)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, aro bokuto, aromantic bokuto, its not mentioned but kuroo is a trans boy bc reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthur_at_221b/pseuds/thecarrotofshuutoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Imagine your brotp getting married because of tax benefits"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendzone

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXTq4Xhh24g that is the song that Bokuto sings at the end of this fic... i found this used for a midotaka fic i wrote in like, 2013... okay, sure. I think this pairing fits a lot better.

Bokuto was nervous. Like, could-potentially-shit-his-pants-nervous. Oh, god, what was gonna happen? What’s Kuroo gonna say? Shit, shit, shit. 

 

“Bokuto-san. Please relax. It’s going to be okay, but you need to breathe,” Akaashi said, bringing Bokuto back from his head. Breathing, Yeah. That sounded pretty reasonable, definitely doable. Breathing, he could handle. He can breathe. 

 

“Are you okay now?” The black-haired man asked, voice soft with concern. Bokuto grinned back, though it didn’t clear up the unease in his eyes. 

 

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s me! I’m golden! I’m great!” Bokuto blustered, striking a superman pose, though the guitar gripped tightly in his right hand inhibited him slightly. 

 

“If you say so. Me and Kenma-san will be waiting for you in the cafe, alright? We have the camera.”

 

“Thanks, Akaashi. See ya!” Bokuto said, ruffling his kouhai’s hair (much to his dismay.) 

 

The front door of his apartment closed with a resounding thud, and Bokuto withered to the ground. What the hell was up with these nerves? Totally bullshit, unnecessary, 0/10. In his 28 years of life, few things had struck him with such a feeling like he was experiencing now. 

 

Just then, his ringtone for Kuroo (the recorder cover of My Heart Will Go On, a true classic) started blaring. How fitting. 

 

Bokuto reached in his pocket and flipped his phone open. “Oho?”

 

“Ohoho?”

 

“Ohohohoho?”

 

“Bro! We’re still on for coffee at 4, right dude?” Kuroo asked, 

 

“Hell yeah! Is there any reason why we wouldn’t? be?” Bokuto asked, slightly suspicious. What if Kuroo said that they needed some space from each other? What is he was in an accident? What if he found a cat and decided to adopt it, and wanted to get all the vaccines done ASAP? What if the cat was lonely and needed a few buddies, and he adopted seventeen more cats at the shelter, and got an early start on being a lonely cat man, and was content enough with his life that Bokuto wasn’t in the picture anymore? Or what if-

 

“Nah, dude, I just didn’t get a reminder on my phone and wanted to make sure that I didn’t fuck up the time since it’s later than usual,” Kuroo said, a little sheepish. 

 

Bokuto heaved a heavy sigh of relief. Nerves were the worst. “Ah, that’s cool! Yeah, don’t worry, it’s 4. I’ll see you soon, bro!” 

 

Kuroo hmm-ed in affirmation and then ended the call. Bokuto flipped his phone shut, and squared his shoulders. 

 

He padded down the hallway to his couch and pulled up his laptop, someone balancing it on his knees as he crouched like an (you guessed it) owl. 

 

He pulled up google, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “Bulk… supply… of… strawberry… watermelon… ring...pops.... bulk… available...in...store… near… me.”

 

Bokuto scrolled through the results, eyes lighting up with delight when he saw a promising result. 

 

“Score!” He shouted, closing his computer. As he grabbed the various things he needed, like his guitar and wallet, he went through his mental itinerary. 

 

_ Okay, if I get on the 2 o’clock train, I should get to the store by 3:15, and the cafe is only a ten-minute walk away from there, so I’ll have plenty of time to get what I need to do, done! _

  
  


“Suga, sweetheart, sugar-buns, I am forever in your debt for letting me do this,” Bokuto said, kowtowing like no tomorrow. 

 

Suga just smiled, ruffling Bokuto’s hair. He responded gently, “It’s no problem. Good luck.”

 

Bokuto shook the stars out of his eyes, nodding, and went towards the small platform in the corner of the cafe. 

 

The Crow’s Nest, co-owned by Daichi, Asahi, and Sugawara, had originally been owned by Asahi’s parents. When they retired, they passed the business onto him. Unfortunately, the gentle giant hadn’t prepared and had no experience in either business or retail. How lucky that both of his then-unemployed boyfriends had specialized in one aspect each? The joint had become a hangout spot for a lot of their old volleyball teammates and rivals and has a really cozy atmosphere. 

 

Every other Friday they had an open mic, and tonight Bokuto had blocked out the beginning of the schedule when it was typically a first-come-first-go system on the night of. But, it was a special occasion.

 

Bokuto looked at the setup. There were ring pops everywhere on the platform, and on the table where he and Kuroo usually sat. And, of course, one tucked in his pocket.  His cheat cards for his speech were propped up on what was a multi-purpose music stand. Kenma and Akaashi were in the back corner, safely out of view from the door. They were more there as a moral support for Bokuto, and Kuroo wouldn’t be expecting them there. Seeing them would definitely tip him off to something unusual happening. 

 

A quick to the glance to the side confirmed that it was 3:48. He’s got two minutes before Kuroo will make his earliest possible appearance. Time to take his position. 

 

Deep breathes. It was all going to be okay. 

 

The bell from the door rang. A tall man with atrocious bedhead walked in, eyes locked on his phone. 

 

“Ohh, Kuroo! Good to see you. The usual?” Suga asked, suppressing his giggles. 

 

“Yes, please, thanks,” Kuroo responded, not looking up. (Probably some dank memes on his twitter feed.)

 

He hadn’t broken his gaze until he tried to step to his table, and his foot crunched a ring pop that had fallen off the table. 

 

“The f-,” He exclaimed, looking up, meeting Bokuto’s eyes. 

 

“Bro…?” He asked, sitting down in a sort of trance. 

 

Bokuto just smiled. 

 

“Bro… You’re the Pepe to my Feels Guy, the Sasuke to my Naruto, the Hoe, don’t do it to my oh my god. Dude, you’re my favorite meme out there. We’ve been together since I hit you with a volleyball in our first year of highschool, and we’ve been together since day one. Even before the first ‘Ohoho?’ uttered, I knew I was totally in love with you. 

 

Well, best-friend-love.”  

 

Bokuto put down his mic into the stand, and instead picked up his guitar pick. He started strumming, the grin on his face threatening to break his face open. Kuroo looked totally starstruck, tears shining in his eyes. 

 

_ I know there's lots of kinds of love in the world _

_ And they're not all romantic _

_ And not all for boys and girls _

 

_ But what we have doesn't have certain definition _

_ 'Cause I love you just as much I hate my college tuition _

_ And that we're basically like dating _

_ Without all the romance _

_ Don't get me wrong I think you're pretty _

_ But I don't want in your pants _

 

Kuroo’s hand went over his mouth, the tears that were welling in his eyes threatening to overflow. 

 

_ It's just that I'm in best friend love with you _

_ So I wrote this song for you _

_ And I know you think it's weird, it's true _

_ But I’m in best friend love with you _

 

_ And I think we should go all the way _

_ In the 100% friend zone way _

 

_ And I can’t get you out of my head _

_ And as long we're in separate beds _

_ I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you _

_ Like maybe we would work out if we were single and were gay _

_ But what I’m really trying to say is _

_ I don’t love you like Shang loves Mulan _

_ You’re more like the Robin Hood to my little John _

_ And I love you like autotune loves T-pain _

_ Like a prostitute loves crack cocaine _

_ I love you like batman wishes his parents hadn’t died _

_ Like Anne frank wanted to fuckin' go outside _

 

Kuroo snorted, ugly and loud, bursting into laughter, his sides shaking.  

 

_ You’re more than my best friend _

_ You’re my partner in crime _

_ That I’d never ever make out with except for that one time _

 

_ And I know you think it’s weird, it’s true _

_ But I’m in best friend love with you _

 

_ And I think we should go all the way _

_ In the 100% friend zone way _

 

_ And I can’t get you out of my head _

_ And as long as were in separate beds _

_ I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with you _

 

_ Whoa- oh _

 

_ Best friend love _

_ Best friend love _

 

_ Don’t need no love glove with best friend love. _

 

Bokuto took a deep breath and hopped down from the seat. he strutted towards the table where Kuroo was sat, tears freely flowing, though that was probably mostly from laughter than joy. (Probably. Kuroo, after all, is the biggest sap in the world.) 

 

“Bro… will you marry me? For the tax benefits?”

 

He brandished the ring-pop, having opened it on his walk down. He sank to one knee, biting his lip in anticipation. 

  
“Bro! Of course!”

**Author's Note:**

> comments are appreciated!


End file.
